“If I were you I would have slapped him tight”
“Had I been in your position, I wouldn’t have allowed him to go out to play in this weather.”
“How can you allow your teenage daughter to hang out with her friends so late?”
“I would simply not do anything like what you did now!”
Hmmm… All this sounds quite familiar, right?
Whatever be the stage in which you are, there are hundreds, (okay, let’s be realistic!), maybe a handful of people who are always there to give you that unsolicited advice. Making you always feel worthless. Making you wonder whether you know anything about parenting, leave alone being a good parent!
First things first
- You are the best parent to your child.
- You know what is good and what is not.
- You will always be different from other parents. (Even your own!)
- You always will have the best interest of your child.
- You will not take a decision that is not good for your child’s well-being.
Now, that should boost up your confidence levels.
Always remember that no two people are same. And no two parenting styles are the same. Just as a creation of an art piece cannot be duplicated exactly, parenting styles too are unique and cannot be duplicated. What is good for others may not necessarily be good for you.
Next time, when someone starts off saying, “If I were you….”, simply cut them off saying “Well! You are not me!!!”
Experiencing motherhood is an opportunity for us that opens up doors to endless possibilities. We learn every day how to handle our children and what really works for them. In this beautiful journey, we make beautiful bonds with our children that last a lifetime.
And that is priceless.
If the art of parenting were to be made out in the form a book, how good would it be?
Well! If you ask me, it will be one with never ending revisions. The final version will never come out!!
But something that you should do and can do, at being a good parent is to bring up strong kids with beautiful values. This, I believe, is one thing we can work towards and master! After all, children with a strong value system, who can stand for themselves, will grow into beautiful, balanced adults!
It is a fact that parenting styles differ. And the parenting styles of the mother and father can be quite contrasting at times. Until a problem arises, you will not even think about alternative styles nor would you question your parenting style.
Some go by the rule book; some go by their experiences, while some take parenting as it comes. Whatever be the parenting technique you adopt, there is no hard and fast rule that works for one parent should surely work for that other.
Parenting is more about learning it gradually. It is not necessary that you should know what good parenting is, from day one. Good parenting happens over time.
6 things that you should teach your child:
- To be Responsible
- To be Kind and Honest
- To be Smart
- To be Grateful
- To be Helpful
- To be Strong
Tips on Positive Parenting
- Have a great parent-child bond – The first thing that I always emphasize is, having a deep bond with your child. That one simple connect is a lifelong attachment. It is a major step towards you becoming a good positive parent.
- Be sensitive – A sensitive attitude in your approach to your kid’s needs and emotions ensures that you respect your child’s emotional needs.
- Lay a strong foundation – Laying a strong foundation towards building and boosting your child’s self-esteem is a great step towards being a positive parent. A child with a good self-esteem and good confidence levels is what every parent likes to see.
- Communicate with your child – It is very important to have eye contact with a gentle touch when you are communicating with your child. A lot happens over non-verbal communication. Make sure you are sending out the right signals to your child.
- Mutual Trust and Respect – Create a relationship with your child that has its basis on mutual trust and respect. When they grow up, you should be the Go- to person, when they seek any information.
- Discipline without a rigid stance – Ensure discipline, but be flexible. Discipline is essential for your kids to know the limits of acceptable behavior as well as self-control. But being rigid all the time about discipline and rules makes you a strict parent. Being a little flexible about some rules once in a while is a good thing. Your children will understand that you can be fun too when you want to be and serious when required!
- Be the role model – You are definitely a role model that your children are seeing, 365 days a year. Rather than asking them to behave, show them how to behave.
“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” James Baldwin
- Unique and individual – Your child is unique and has an individuality. Cherish and respect that. Support them. Praise them. But DO NOT COMPARE them with every other child.
- Do not punish. Your goal as a good parent is to bring out the best in your child, at the same time, reinforcing good values and guiding them on the right path. Strict unnecessary punishments often cause more harm than any good.
- Last but not the least, Empower your children.
As good parents with a positive attitude to parenting, we all like and want more for our children. It is just not academics and making a career. We want our children to be strong, independent, to believe in themselves, lead a better life and better themselves.
Empowering our children is a way of making them better individuals.
It is certainly a privilege to be a parent/mother. Cherish it. Be a positive parent. Better yourself as a parent every day! You can do it!